A Poem: Restless Peace

[title in flux]

"We wept, we fled in terror, the iron entered into our souls-- and you are the peace of God! Oh, I can forgive God His anger, though it destroyed nations; but I cannot forgive Him His peace."
- G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday

If you would just give me
some hard-hearted mandate
and watch with blank idol’s eyes
as I wrestled your mercilessness
to its inevitable silent conclusion--
then,
and only then,
could I understand you,
for you would look so much
like me.

Oh, the violence of your justice
met my stomach so much sweeter
than this bitter-gilded grace
that burns away my old skin
as it boils down my throat.

And yet
my deepest gratitude comes when
you are unswayed
by my righteous 
indignant
ravings,
your quiet like a healer’s compress
held against my soul’s delirium.

I have known
you in your command.
May I learn to drink deep
of Your peace.